Project 39: Week 17

Weight: 181.4 (+0.6 lbs for the week, -5.4 lbs overall)

Savings: $1915 (second job) + $1600 (day job)

Days without soda: 120

Writing to you from my friend’s house as my apartment does not have heat today. Which is awesome because it is freezing rain outside and I pay more than $1000 a month for rent.

The good: My savings are way up! I have $3500 which is maybe the most I have had saved since I finished graduate school. What helped is that I finally got reimbursed for my work events. And instead of putting the money in my checking account, it went straight to savings.

My day job savings goal by December was to be $1600, which I achieved. But I was down about $300 in November and was able to make up the deficit this month. I will take some hits for Christmas, including getting my sister a bike and taking my niece to NYC, but that will come from my second job account.

I have also bounced back from the existential dread about dating from last week, so that is a positive! Sometimes I have (and probably everybody has) downswings you have to work through. I think working so much is actually a good thing in that it prevents me from having too much down time to ruminate. So I am thankful for that.

Starting today, I get five days in a row off from both jobs! Holy crap, time off! It will be nice to chill and I am hoping to read and play a lot of video games and also look into building up my freelance career.

I updated my resume and applied for a recruiter job at a tech firm, which is essentially what I do now, except I would get paid six figures and probably work fewer hours. Not sure if I will get it, but it is worth a shot. Earning that much money would literally change my life. I could pay off my grad school debt in 18 months and be free from this American serfdom.

Even if I don’t get it, at least I updated my resume and did cover letter writing. It’s good to get that muscle working.

Speaking of writing, I made the slightest of slight progress toward my freelance writing side hustle. I signed up for an online freelance support group and their weekly newsletter. They also sent me a free e-book on how to get started so I will read that this week. Unfortunately there is a waiting list for the group, but as soon as it opens I will try to get in. They hold workshops for aspiring writers and have a community that tells each other about jobs that come up. I just need to get my foot in the door and I think things will start to happen.

The bad: I gained weight AND I wasn’t able to work out all week due to my arm injury. The weight thing is actually not as bad as I thought it would be. I overate at work (lots of folks brought in sweets) and broke my diet. To my credit, I didn’t go as insane with overeating (ok maybe mildly insane) as I would have in years past, so I will take that as a small victory.

My original goal was to get to 179 by January but I don’t think I will be able to do that. It’s ok though, I am close and will double down on my calorie tracking in the new year and as long as I don’t gain too much I should be able to continue without too much of a delay.

The arm injury is immensely frustrating. I was making such good progress on my lifts, going to Brazilian jiu jitsu a couple of times a week and feeling stronger than I ever have in my life. It still hurts today, so I will take the rest of the weekend and beginning of next week off. It does feel better, but the healing has been very slow.

I hurt it doing a pullup, but it didn’t even hurt in the moment. I felt it a bit the next day, and then it got slowly worse as I continued to work out, so I decided to shut things down for a week. That was three weeks ago and it is still not healed. If it isn’t 100 percent by next week, I will return to the gym and work around it: doing core, legs and upper body that does’t hit the bicep.

I also don’t think I will be able to do the marathon in April BUT a co-worker was telling me about a half marathon in Vermont the same weekend, so if my bicep continues to hurt I can focus on that. I am bugging out having no outlet for exercise. So maybe the solution is to get back to running, which would not be the worst thing in the world.

Overall: This week was a mixed bag. I gained some weight and wasn’t able to exercise, but I hit my savings goal for December and I made some baby steps toward freelance writing. No BJJ at all for almost the entire month of December, which is extremely frustrating because I pay $160 a month for classes. Fingers crossed the arm gets better and I can return by January.

Still, I am going to focus on the positive as there are always bumps on the road. I am healing, the savings is up and the freelance thing will start happening in January.  I will write a 2017 retrospective later in the week so stay tuned for that.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays or whatever you celebrate this time of year!

Project 39: Week 16

Weight: 180.8 (-0.4 lbs, -6.0 lbs)

Savings: $1735.22 (second job) + 1405.46 (day job)

Days without soda: 113

Another Friday post! WOW!

Although I am getting some victories, it wasn’t the easiest week mentally. I had a cold last weekend and early this week, so I think that was part of it.

What has been at the root was that I was marinating on the fact that as I close in on 40, my dream of being married to a cool lady and having kids recedes from reality a bit more each day.

Coming to terms with this is hard for me at times. But that’s life. I was playing my video game, Mass Effect 3, and there is a plot point about dealing with regret. The character says there is no real benefit on wallowing on what you have done in the past. You have to deal with the here and now and move on.

My reality in 2017 is what I have to deal with. I may have done a million things different given another chance — or maybe not — but my circumstances now need to be my focus. The only way to live is to accept what I did (or didn’t do) and move on, forgiving myself for any mistakes and making my life as fulfilling and cool as possible going forward.

There is no other option.

The good: I have to say that I was SHOCKED that I lost any weight at all this week. I had the staff holiday party last night, and of course overindulged in sweets, so I thought for sure I would stay the same or put on weight. But no! I lost 0.4 lbs! It ain’t much, but it’s the right direction. Of course I made myself sick by eating too much and had to work at the deli, leading to me skipping dinner, so maybe that was a factor.

I also noticed that when I put my work belt on this week that I went to the final belt notch a couple of times without tightening my stomach or anything. Non-scale victory. y’all.

I am also going to pat myself on the back for being really solid with the diet all week. Cookies, treats and fried foods were swirling about in and out of work, but I stayed on track. For instance, I went out for burgers on Tuesday night and was hella tempted to get a milk shake, but didn’t.

Cookies and donuts were around my office all week, but instead I had my yogurt and sandwiches and fruit. I feel pretty proud of this. Getting under 180 lbs seems entirely possible by the new year, so that will be my focus.

Also good, I signed up to join this freelance writers community to try to get that going. As part of the sign up I got this long PDF on how to get started. I haven’t read it yet, but this could be the first step to me getting out of the minimum wage deli job and into something more lucrative.

Financially I stayed on target. I am going to get my sister a laptop or bike for Christmas $400-500), so that will set me back a bit, but I have the financial leeway and am happy to do it.

The bad: Getting back to the depressing life stuff, I had a date cancel on me last minute-ish on Tuesday. When things like this happen, I can’t help but feel a bit dinged and hopeless about dating. In lieu of this, I went out with a friend and played video games, so that was fun at least.

To her credit, she said she wanted to hang out next week instead, and maybe she does, but given the tapering off of communication since we first made contact, I am not holding my breath

Dating is tough. I hate how hard it seems to be for me to feel attracted/comfortable around someone to fall for them. This has happened to me so infrequently in life that I wonder if it just isn’t going to happen. If this is the case, I then have to really focus on the other stuff in life that truly makes me happy: working out, surfing, hanging with friends, reading, podcasting, hanging with family, etc. I have to double down on that stuff because there is more to life than dating/sex/relationships.

Also not great was that I have been dealing with an injury in my right bicep and didn’t get to the gym once this week. Nor did I go to Brazilian jiu jitsu. Between working too much and injuries, I feel like that blue belt is not going to happen. But it is. I will have blue belt by August.

The bicep still hurts today after 10 days off, but I am hoping that I can get back to working out next week, even if it is lighter than I would usually do. Something is better than nothing!

Overall: Fuck it, I am going to rule this week a positive. I surprisingly lost weight and am a step closer to my goal of 165 lbs. I stayed within my budget for the month (I get paid on the 15th of every month, so my new month started today) and my savings is on track. I had a setback with dating, I had a not-awesome mental health week and I couldn’t go to the gym due to injury. But things still went well in other, important ways.

Sometimes you gotta shine like all of the lights:

Project 39: Week 15

Weight: 181.2 (-0.8 lbs, -5.6 lbs overall)

Savings: $1375.67 (second job) + 956.35 (day job)

Days without soda: 106

I am writing on Friday for once! I have a few minutes before the next job starts so I figured I would get in some blogging.

The good: The day has finally come! The thing that inspired me to get a second job (other than freeing myself from debt): the LAPTOP has arrived! It felt so nice to be able to pay for it with cash. I have to admit, when it arrived I didn’t feel much in the way of choirs of angels singing, as it was just another material good, but it is still emblematic of me working my ass off for something. Achieving that does feel nice, and it seems like a solid machine so far. There was one video game I wanted to play, Mass Effect 3, and it runs it without an issue. So now I can rescue earth from alien destruction.

I also bought my niece an iPod touch for $211 and didn’t have to sweat it. It feels nice not to fret over every cent I spend.

I have been sick the last few days. And no, this is not a positive, BUT I have been good about eating well while sick. When I am ill, I always want to just eat my comfort foods (sweets, pizza, etc) but they make me feel terrible since I can’t digest them. This time, however, I have been focused on having good foods that don’t hurt my stomach. I haven’t been great with portions, but I haven’t strayed from my cheat day and have been doing the best I can considering the circumstances. I am pretty proud of this, especially since it is the time of year when sweets/bad food is all around.

Also, I lost 0.8 lbs! I am now officially at my lowest weight since I started Project 39! I am hoping I can get under 180 by the New Year, obstacles be damned.

The bad: I have been sick all week. I was fine Monday and Tuesday, but Tuesday night my throat started to hurt and the last couple of days I have felt run down and tired. I was able to come into work a bit late the last couple of days to get extra sleep, and that has no doubt helped.

I was able to work out Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but the last two days I have felt like garbage and taken the days off. Also, one should never do Brazilian jiu jitsu sick so as not to give other folks your disease, so I had to miss class this week.

My savings has taken a bit of a dip, but that is because I had bills, bills, bills to pay (to paraphrase Motley Crue). I took money from my second job to pay for: doctor’s bill, iPod, computer. I also had a work event I had to put on my credit card ($170 of pizza!!!) but I will be reimbursed in the next couple of weeks but I had to take that from the second job savings.

Also bad: I had tickets to see Morrissey last night but he pulled out 24 hours before the show. I do get my $120 back but I had already budgeted for it and would loved to have seen him.

Still no movement on second career/side hustle, despite being 15 weeks into Project 39. Big failure on that front honestly.

Overall: I am actually proud of myself this week. Despite being sick, I stuck to my diet, lost a couple of pounds, and even get to the gym three times. I am +$120 due to a concert being cancelled, but this is bittersweet as it is an artist that I really wanted to see.

So, not great circumstances but still feeling ok. Not a bad week.

Lost gem from the early 00s:

Project 39: Week 14

Weight: 182.0 (-0.2, -4.8 overall)

Savings: $1615.68 (Second job) + $956.35 (day job)

Days without soda: 99

I am writing from public transit yet again! Thank god for personal hotspots on smartphones.

Also, I have never been on a train that has had so many loud people, so thank god for earbuds.

The good: I dropped 0.2 lbs (eeeeeeeh). At least I didn’t go up! I am so close to getting out of the 180s but seem to have hit a bit of a wall. That said, let’s be positive: I feel like I am doing well at avoiding sweets and sticking to cheat days. I have no cravings at all for soda anymore. I also noticed that I can’t eat as much as I used to in one sitting, as if my stomach shrunk. Can your stomach shrink?

I feel as though my body and mind have more or less adjusted to the new normal with my diet. Importantly, this is a diet I want for not only this year, but forever. Nutrition is so damn important for so many things, especially when one has a crap digestive system as I do.

I went to a wedding last weekend and got a couple of compliments saying that I looked good. Despite my slow weight loss, someone noticed! Of course it was a couple of dudes, but hey, any port in a storm.

I had a date this morning! I don’t think she was too into me, but at least I got out — it’s good to get reps. I actually have another date with a different woman tomorrow that I am excited about. I can’t wait to see how it won’t work out!

I went to Brazilian jiu jitsu twice this week despite having three 14 hour days and one 12 hour day. I was really tired the one night I didn’t have to work, and even fell asleep when I got home. Still, I rallied and went to my 8 pm class. I went again today. It is finally starting to make some sense. I even went undefeated in sparring, which is nice since I am usually the oldest person in the class.

The bad: I only dropped 0.2 lbs. I really have to work on portion control. One mini-goal this week is to not have any processed food at my second job. I want to stick with salads, vegetables or soups. Processed foods are not only too calorically dense, but they mess my stomach up.

I won’t be ready for the December test at BJJ, which is disappointing. I really have to make a push for January. I am not too far behind for getting a blue belt by August, and I have been going at least twice a week for the last few months despite working a good number of hours every week. I just don’t know the specific techniques for the next test well enough.

I got back to the gym during some lunch breaks this week, but I pulled a muscle in my ribs while I was sitting and doing nothing (new low for me), so I had to miss a couple of days. I probably could have gone through the injury, but I figure it is better to miss a couple of days and not prolong the injury instead of fighting through the pain. This is something I have not been good at in the past and I am trying to be better about as I get older. So far, so good. I should be good for next week.

Still no progress for the side hustle, which is frustrating. But to be fair to me, this is hard to do when you work 60-70 hours a week. I really need to step down my hours by one night soon. Probably next month. I only intended to keep the second job for a couple of months, and now I am on my 10th month.

This week I wanted to start my marathon training for the March race, but I am not sure if I have the time to train for it. I won’t make a final decision till the end of the month, but it doesn’t look good.

Overall: It was a mixed bag this week, but I would say that it was largely positive. My weight loss is slower than I would like, but I have made legitimate dietary changes that are sustainable. And, no soda in almost 100 days! I even went on a date! With another one tomorrow! With someone else! Exclamation points!

This is a little jam that I think will be appreciated by my two readers: