Weight: 180.8 (-0.4 lbs, -6.0 lbs)
Savings: $1735.22 (second job) + 1405.46 (day job)
Days without soda: 113
Another Friday post! WOW!
Although I am getting some victories, it wasn’t the easiest week mentally. I had a cold last weekend and early this week, so I think that was part of it.
What has been at the root was that I was marinating on the fact that as I close in on 40, my dream of being married to a cool lady and having kids recedes from reality a bit more each day.
Coming to terms with this is hard for me at times. But that’s life. I was playing my video game, Mass Effect 3, and there is a plot point about dealing with regret. The character says there is no real benefit on wallowing on what you have done in the past. You have to deal with the here and now and move on.
My reality in 2017 is what I have to deal with. I may have done a million things different given another chance — or maybe not — but my circumstances now need to be my focus. The only way to live is to accept what I did (or didn’t do) and move on, forgiving myself for any mistakes and making my life as fulfilling and cool as possible going forward.
There is no other option.
The good: I have to say that I was SHOCKED that I lost any weight at all this week. I had the staff holiday party last night, and of course overindulged in sweets, so I thought for sure I would stay the same or put on weight. But no! I lost 0.4 lbs! It ain’t much, but it’s the right direction. Of course I made myself sick by eating too much and had to work at the deli, leading to me skipping dinner, so maybe that was a factor.
I also noticed that when I put my work belt on this week that I went to the final belt notch a couple of times without tightening my stomach or anything. Non-scale victory. y’all.
I am also going to pat myself on the back for being really solid with the diet all week. Cookies, treats and fried foods were swirling about in and out of work, but I stayed on track. For instance, I went out for burgers on Tuesday night and was hella tempted to get a milk shake, but didn’t.
Cookies and donuts were around my office all week, but instead I had my yogurt and sandwiches and fruit. I feel pretty proud of this. Getting under 180 lbs seems entirely possible by the new year, so that will be my focus.
Also good, I signed up to join this freelance writers community to try to get that going. As part of the sign up I got this long PDF on how to get started. I haven’t read it yet, but this could be the first step to me getting out of the minimum wage deli job and into something more lucrative.
Financially I stayed on target. I am going to get my sister a laptop or bike for Christmas $400-500), so that will set me back a bit, but I have the financial leeway and am happy to do it.
The bad: Getting back to the depressing life stuff, I had a date cancel on me last minute-ish on Tuesday. When things like this happen, I can’t help but feel a bit dinged and hopeless about dating. In lieu of this, I went out with a friend and played video games, so that was fun at least.
To her credit, she said she wanted to hang out next week instead, and maybe she does, but given the tapering off of communication since we first made contact, I am not holding my breath
Dating is tough. I hate how hard it seems to be for me to feel attracted/comfortable around someone to fall for them. This has happened to me so infrequently in life that I wonder if it just isn’t going to happen. If this is the case, I then have to really focus on the other stuff in life that truly makes me happy: working out, surfing, hanging with friends, reading, podcasting, hanging with family, etc. I have to double down on that stuff because there is more to life than dating/sex/relationships.
Also not great was that I have been dealing with an injury in my right bicep and didn’t get to the gym once this week. Nor did I go to Brazilian jiu jitsu. Between working too much and injuries, I feel like that blue belt is not going to happen. But it is. I will have blue belt by August.
The bicep still hurts today after 10 days off, but I am hoping that I can get back to working out next week, even if it is lighter than I would usually do. Something is better than nothing!
Overall: Fuck it, I am going to rule this week a positive. I surprisingly lost weight and am a step closer to my goal of 165 lbs. I stayed within my budget for the month (I get paid on the 15th of every month, so my new month started today) and my savings is on track. I had a setback with dating, I had a not-awesome mental health week and I couldn’t go to the gym due to injury. But things still went well in other, important ways.
Sometimes you gotta shine like all of the lights:
Late Bloomer Chronicles 